Long-time Marrieds Share Their Secrets

WRITTEN BY TRACEY SGAMBATO

Falling in love and jumping the broom was the easy part. Having a successful and happy marriage takes a great deal of work! We sought out some real life couples who shared their secrets to a lasting marriage. Their words of wisdom just may come in handy down the road. So have a read and let’s toast to your own “happily-ever-after!”

Take turns being there for each other and being the strong calm one. That’s what we do while handling life’s challenges with three little kids, finances, household chores, etc.”

– Cassie Dossier, married to Marshall for eight years.
Wedding date: January 17, 2008, ages 18 and 24

Just don’t kill them!”

– Kathryn Ryan McIntire, married to William for ten years.
Wedding date: April 22, 2010.

Let your wife have the final decision on home furnishings, but don’t let her help you put it together. Just trust me on this one. Even if she is handy…”

– Kris Lowery, married to Jackie for 11 years.
Wedding date: July 23, 2005, ages 26 and 25.

Make an appointment with a couple’s counselor once a month to do an “update”. Learning how to communicate in marriage is a constant evolution and having an impartial party to help guide you through the ups/downs/in-betweens and everything else is invaluable! Plus, we make a date out of it. Counseling, dinner, etc. It’s like scheduled maintenance!”

– Renee Niemann, married to Jason for 13 years.
Wedding date: December 30, 2004, ages 24 and 25.

We received a book full of wedding tips from friends and family at our wedding. The ones I remember are “frozen lasagne” and “always give her the good car.” But I would say that “marriage is a journey, not a destination.” There will be times when you and your spouse are starting to drift off in different detections. Check in with each other every so often and do a course correction when necessary.”

– Andrea Graves, married to Les for 16 years.
Wedding date: October 14, 2000, ages 23 and 32.

Firstly, before you get married, you should travel together. When you are on a long trip, you really get to see the real person. You see them when they are tired, hungry, irritable, or perhaps dealing with money issues. To make a marriage work, you have to want the other person to be happy. You have to allow them to do the things that really make them happy. Don’t give them a hard time about it. If it’s not something you also enjoy, go do something on your own for awhile. You should also listen to them when they’ve had a bad day at work. Just be on their side when they tell you their struggles.”

– Jill Smith, married to Perry for 17 years.
Wedding date: September 9, 1999, ages 34 and 40.

Compatibility is important! We both share in the responsibilities of the house. We both cook, clean, and do other chores. We both work well together. She’s my best friend on top of that. No matter what you might be upset about, go to sleep before you say too much to each other. Wait until morning to see how you feel. Chance are, after a good night’s rest, it will all seem better in the morning”

– Perry, married to Jill.

It may not be romantic but spend time apart too. Each person needs their own interests and passions. It makes life together so much more interesting. Conversation flows when you see each other and you also learn so much about your life partner. Oh, and my mom suggests separate bank accounts!”

– Lisa Gyory, married to Jim for 18 years.
Wedding date: May 25, 1998, age 33 and 35.

Learn to understand and accept the ways in which your partner receives love and gives love because your style and his/her style will typically be quite different.

– Patricia Jessee, married to Steve for 34 years.
Wedding date: June 5,1982, ages 32 and 34.

You have to sit down and discuss things. Not just have one person saying how its going to be. We were always a happy couple. We never made a plan without talking about it. My parents loved him to death.”

– Doris Blanchard Price, married to Leonard Price for 53 years.
Wedding date: July 25, 1939, ages 16 and 18.