Written By Laura Lamartina, LPC-S
Brides spend months, even years dreaming and planning their wedding day. The “big day” comes and it is everything you dreamed it to be. You have a wonderful partner, a magical wedding, and an amazing honeymoon. After the wedding and honeymoon, however, you might find yourself a little blue instead of over-the-moon ecstatic. Many women report feeling lost, bored or even depressed after all the planning and excitement of the wedding is over. It is not uncommon for newlyweds to experience post-wedding blues.
With all the engagement parties, dress shopping, and vendor meetings, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, wedding brunches and other affairs leading up to this one very special day, there is no shortage of love to be showered upon you. With all this excitement and joy before the wedding, it’s no surprise that newlyweds can feel blue after they return to their everyday grind after the honeymoon.
So, what can you do about the post-wedding blues? To start, change how you think about your wedding. Brides that experience the blues after the fanfare tend to view the wedding as the end goal rather than the wedding being exactly what it is, the symbolic ceremony that celebrates the joining of two people in the next chapter of their lives together. Have a plan for life after the wedding day. It’s important to have goals with your spouse and explore what you want your life to be about as a couple. Most importantly, talk to your spouse about your feelings. After all, you committed to take care of one another even when things are tough. So keep in mind that your wedding is not the end of the story, but the beginning of it.
It’s also important to give yourself something to look forward to after the wedding. Here are some ideas to keep the joyous celebrations going, and how to stay connected to those that helped make your wedding great:
- Host a wedding video and wedding picture viewing party with family and friends
- Invite your friends and mother over to help you catalog all those thoughtful wedding gifts and make it fun
- See if you can find a way to entice your spouse to tackle those thank you notes
- Plan a nice dinner so you have an excuse to break out the new china and wedding gifts
- Spend time with your spouse decorating and making your house a home
- Invite your favorite vendors out to coffee or lunch to thank them for all their hard work and reminisce a bit
- Offer your wedding planning expertise and favorite referrals to a newly engaged friend.
After all the planning, attention and excitement is over and you have your sweet memories to savor, you can take stock in the fact that you have joined the legions of women who have gone before you and have become “a married woman.” Allow this to be a source of joy and pride that you are now part of this “group.” (Not that there is anything wrong with being single.) But getting married is a ritual that millions and millions of women have done for century upon century before you. It is an experience in life that you can now claim as part of your own journey.
Think about all the great things in your life you are thankful for and try not to focus on the little things that may have been imperfect on your special day. And don’t forget that what you may be going through is a completely natural experience, almost a withdrawal symptom. You’ve lost a close friend, your “wedding plans.” But now you have something much, much better – a very real spouse, a best friend for life to help you plan the next chapter.
Now that this time in your life has finally arrived, plan some special romantic nights out with your new spouse. Be conscious of living your marriage vows through daily acts of kindness in your relationship. Do something special for your spouse to make them happy, like buying flowers, sending a special note, or giving a much-needed foot rub. Focusing on making your new spouse happy will not only be great for your marriage, but will also help you feel better too since one of the best ways to ward off full-blown depression is to do something for someone else, and get your mind on other things.
And if you need extra help, don’t be shy about reaching out to your new spouse or a professional for some advice or counseling. Life is a journey and sometimes you just might need a little hand to help you re-group. But always remember, the best is yet to come.